Family mediation is a conflict resolution method in which an impartial mediator helps spouses/partners/guardians negotiate a fair and viable agreement that meets the needs of each family member and is entered upon voluntarily. The family mediator helps both parties make decisions regarding the future of their family in an informed manner and hopefully help them avoid a financially and emotionally costly battle in court. If the couple has a child, then the mediation discussions will be oriented around the best interests of the child/children.
Contents
- Benefits of mediation
- Issues addressed during mediation
- Duration
- Cost
- Summary of mediated agreement
- Download the Family Mediation Contract (PDF, 100 KB)
Benefits of mediation
- Parents may resolve their differences in a respectful and comfortable manner.
- Parents may customize their agreement to their family’s needs instead of being imposed by a third-party judge
- Parents avoid the emotionally and financially costly adversarial court process
- Parents may choose to attend mediation alone or assisted by their legal counsel
- Helps parents re-structure their communication and expectations from that of an intimate relationship to a co-parenting relationship.
- Helps reduce parental conflict surrounding the child
- Mediator can interview the child to obtain his/her thoughts, views and preferences
- Mediator can keep the process child-focused
- The final mediated agreement is oriented around the child’s needs and the realities of the family. Reaching a resolution gives both parents (and their children by extension) a sense of security and peace.
- Sessions can easily be conducted virtually during the COVID-19 pandemic
Issues addressed during mediation
- How to tell children about the separation and help them adapt to family changes.
- Parental authority and decision-making about important decisions affecting the child (schooling, medical and mental health, religion, activities, etc.).
- Devise parenting schedules during the school year, holiday times and summer period
- Develop a plan to help parents communicate in a healthy manner and minimize children’s exposure to conflict
- Structure how and by whom children are brought to various appointments (e.g., medical, dental, orthodontic, counselling, etc.)
- Children’s activities, sports, routines, homework, etc.
- Sharing of child-related expenses
- Children’s special needs and how to best respond and address those needs
- How and when to introduce parent’s new partners to the children
- Developing common parenting approaches to ensure stability and consistency in both homes
Duration
This is difficult to say how long mediation will take as it depends on the complexity of each case and each party’s commitment to the negotiation process. Some cases are resolved relatively quickly, but some parents continue to struggle with their pre-existing entrenched conflict playing out in mediation and may need court proceedings to resolve their disagreements.
Cost
In Ontario, mediation services are charged at a rate of $225 per hour. Parents are asked to provide a retainer of $1,500 (or $750 each) to start the process, which includes intake questionnaires, individual parent intake meetings and a three-hour mediation session.
In Québec, separating common-law and married couples receive five hours of mediation subsidized by the Quebec government plus a 2.5-hour session on Parenting after Separation (at local court house). For parents wishing to have an existing agreement or court order reviewed, then they are entitled to 2.5-hours of subsidized mediation services. Beyond these subsidized hours, parents are charged at a rate of $195 per hour.
Summary of mediated agreement
It is a final written agreement, which includes the parenting plan and other important family issues agreed upon by both parties. Parents are advised to seek independent legal advice prior to agreeing to the final mediated agreement. Some parents choose to use the final Mediated Agreement as a working document to implement their parenting plan without having it legalized at court. However, parents need to understand that their mediated agreement is not a legally enforceable document. You may wish to submit the agreement to family court to seek a legal court order issued by a judge.